10 months sober

I have been trying to get sober from alcohol for the past several years and after several jail trips, two misdemeanors, therapy, and MANY hard conversations with loved ones; I am 10 months sober as of May 23rd, 2025.

I am grateful to my family, friends, and community for their support and love. I often think about how challenging I made my own life due to the cyclic nature of addiction.

Slight tangent, but i have been reading some esoteric philosophy on life and the wisdoms we gain throughout it, and I feel that addiction is a haunting cycle that traumatizes my family and each one of us decides to overcome and break in our own way.

I have felt isolated often, during these 10 months. I've realized over the past several years how many of my interactions with other people centered around going out and drinking, and now that I do not drink, I find myself around those people less often. I wondered if they didn't want me around sober, was I a fun sponge, did I make them feel judged for indulging? I realize now, that ruminating on why these people and I seem to cross paths with increasing rarity may not be the best use of my time.

My therapist often asks me: "how is the temptation?" sometimes, there is no temptation, other times, I wonder would one beer realllly disrupt all of my progress? Suddenly my social media algorithm starts throwing at me content of peoples regrets from relapsing to remind me of all I have to gain from remaining sober.

Side note: does anyone else think it can read your thoughts? There are things my algorithm shows me that I have never said out loud around my phone or that have to do with other people in my life, very specific content. I wonder at what point is it predicting my thoughts and not just my behavior informed choices and what is the difference?

Hope you have a nice day!